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Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you the ultimate Gay thread, the Gay thread to end all the other Gay threads. I will now analyze the sexuality of every important male character in the series.
So, with no further introduction, let us begin:
Haku: Gay. He dresses like a female, looks like a female, and wants to do everything for Zabuza.
Zabuza: Gay. He raised Haku, so he must be just as gay.
Sasuke: Gay. He not only kissed Naruto, he also hugged him, thought a lot more about him (and his brother) than about all females combined and he transformed into a drag queen. Oh, and wasn't busy chasing females when he was 12 years old.
Naruto: Gay. He takes crossdressing one step further. And he is obsessed with Sasuke and thinks about pretty much nothing else than him. Oh, and he kissed him.
Orochimaru: Gay. Do you really need proof?
Jirayia: Gay. He gets turned on by the crossdressing Naruto.
Kakashi: Gay. He goes every day to Obito's grave. That must have been more than just friendship. Also, he reads Jirayia's porn novels. And given that Jirayia is gay, it's probably gay porn.
Obito: Gay. As proven, he had a gay relationship with Kakashi.
Kabuto: Gay. He wants Oro to invade his body. Definitely gay.
Itachi: Gay. He uses nail polish. Purple nail polish.
Kisame: Gay. He spends all his time with Itachi. Guess what they do between missions?
Deidara: Gay. People confused him with a female. Furthermore, he belongs to the obviously gay organisation Akatsuki.
Sasori: Gay. He looks too good to be anything else than gay.
Tobi: Gay. He is Zetsu's "good boy". Just what does that mean? Furthermore, he is the already gay Obito.
Zetsu: Gay. He keeps Tobi around.
Akatsuki Leader: Gay. Everyone else in Akatsuki is gay, so he is probably gay as well.
Kiba: Gay. This should be obvious. Just keep in mind that Akamaru is male.
Shino: Gay. He doesn't seem to have much female bugs, given the special scent they send out. So most of the bugs that are pretty much everywhere in his body are male.
Shikamaru: Gay. So why did he help Chouji? Exactly, to take advantage of his sexy body.
Chouji: Gay. He didn't mind Shikamaru's advances.
Lee: Gay. His crush on Sakura only serves to keep his mind of Gai until he can legally marry him.
Neji: Gay. He spends his time with team Gay, he cannot help him. Furthermore, if he weren't gay, he would use his Byakugan against others than his male opponents.
Gaara: Gay. If he weren't, he would have taken advantage of his Sand fangirls.
Kankurou: Gay. He uses makeup.
Gai: Gay. Yeah, just look at his name.
Baki: Gay. There is no evidence he is not.
Asuma: Gay. You thought you got me there, right? Well, you are wrong. Remember the first chapters, when Kurenai was still male? Right, she is just a crossdresser. And guess who hangs out with her?
Sandaime: Gay. He was interested in little gay Jirayia's peeping jutsu. Guess what their target was.
Yondaime: Gay. All the good men are gay.
Sakumo: Gay. So where was Kakashi's mother? Right, she divorced, because Sakumo only ever hung out with guys.
Hyuga Hizashi & Hiashi: Gay. Why do you think they were seperated into two houses? Right, to prevent them from hooking up with each other.
Team 10's parents: Gay. There are next to no all male teams in Konoha. That is because those teams inevitabily turn gay.
Iruka: Gay. There must be a reason why he ends up in all those Yaoi doujinshi.
All the other halfway important characters that I forgot or didn't bother to write about: Gay. With so many other characters gay, do you really believe there could be a straight one?
So as we found out, everyone in the Naruto universe is gay. So what do we do with that knowledge? We can stop all those "Xy is gay, lollol!" threads, because we know that everyone is gay anyway.
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